Letting go is a process

It feels like the end of the year is a good time for evaluating what is good and what is no longer good for us.

Several people have talked with me lately about letting go of relationships that no longer benefit them. Some people are realizing long-term friendships have become a nuisance instead of a joy. One person was ending a business partnership. Someone else was leaving an employer after many years for the adventure of working in a faster-paced environment.

When you’re in any relationship, how do you know when the relationship has served its purpose?

What do you do if it has served its purpose?
I created a letting go process that brought me an incredible peace and contentment at a time when I felt turmoil, angst, pain, and anger. If you are letting go of a relationship, I hope this process provides additional insight for you.

First, I chose a relaxing atmosphere and prepared myself mentally & emotionally. [For me, being in a hot bubble bath with candles is perfect! I realize that’s not very “business-like” but it is heart-centered] I placed my hand on my heart and spent some time breathing deeply. The rhythm of breathing deeply relaxed my body and opened my heart to allow what is best for me to appear.

Then, I called to the spirit of the person who was leaving my life. I spoke clearly and conversationally as if the person was sitting next to me. I reminisced about fun times we had together, touching memories we shared, and the love or affection I felt for that person. After all, who I am today is the result of our relationship.

Next, I thanked the person for being part of my life. I spoke of why we were no longer in a place of relationship. For one person, we were no longer friends because of her negativity. I spoke of the choices we had made and how those choices were taking us in different directions. The words I spoke aren’t important. What is important is the emotion – I was honest, objective, and loving.

Then, I stated simply

“I let go, am letting go, and will continue to let go of you
so that you can be happy without me in your life.

I let go, am letting go, and will continue to let go of you
so that I can be happy without you in my life.”

Why did I use three verb tenses? Because letting go is a process.

Each time you think of the old relationship, you are faced with a choice:

You can wallow in doubt, misery, and self-pity
about why the relationship ended
You can remind yourself that you chose to let go to be happy

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